Two Funniest Sports Articles Ever

Today, I saw the two funniest articles related to professional athletes that I have ever seen in my life. This is truly amazing.

(Unfortunately, the links to these articles are now dead).

#1 -- O.J. Simpson is Very, Extremely Innocent


First off, the fact that O.J. Simpson apparently now has his own candid camera show called "Juiced" is news to me. Maybe I'm not in the loop. That alone is hilarious. What's even funnier is that one of the gags involves O.J. trying to sell a white Ford Bronco at a used car lot. Even funnier is that one of his lines when trying to sell the vehicle is "It was good for me -- it helped me get away." Nice.

#2 -- Rick Sutcliffe Gives Incoherent Interview


First off, it's extremely funny that "Rick Sutcliffe Gives Incoherent Interview" is the actual headline of this article. Unfortunately for Rick, this interview was more than incoherent. Rick apparently broke the following well known rules:

(1) Don't hang out with Bill Murray in public.
(2) If you do hang out with Bill Murray in public, don't drink with him.
(3) If you do drink with Bill Murray in public, don't take any of his pills.
(4) If you do drink with Bill Murray in public and take whatever weird pills he hands you, don't get anywhere near a microphone.
(5) If you are drinking with Bill Murray in public, are on whatever bizarre drugs he talked you into taking, and then someone puts a microphone in front of you, don't say anything into that microphone.
(6) If, in the situation outlined in rule 5, you find yourself talking into a microphone, and then Bill Murray encourages you to stop talking, take Bill Murray's advice and stop talking. He is definitely handling his buzz better than you are.

Unfortunately for Rick and for Channel 4 San Diego, Rick did not obey any of the above rules. It will be interesting to see if Rick can keep his job with ESPN as a baseball analyst, or if he will instead seek employment with Woody Harrelson.